The first step is to understand what autism truly is––and we’ve taken that step.

The second step is empathy.

Whilst many think that interacting with people with autism is extremely challenging and only for the very skilled, truthfully, the same principles of empathy and understanding that apply to conversations with regular people apply to conversations with people with autism.

 

Here are five principles one needs to know when speaking to people with autism.

 

1. Respect him or her as a person that happens to have autism, not an ‘autistic’.

Whilst ‘autism’ may be the first thing you know about the person, it doesn’t mean that autism defines them and who they are, just like how a singular adjective shouldn’t define who you are. They, just like you, have interests, beliefs, values, aspirations, desires, hatreds and passions.

 

2. Be aware of his or her sensory needs, and avoid triggers such as bright lights or loud noises.

Imagine wearing a hearing aid that amplifies the sounds around you, and then imagine yourself in a busy coffeeshop and talking to someone at the same time. You might feel challenged, and maybe a little irritated. People with autism experience this as well, but also with all other senses: visual, olfactory (smell), taste and touch. Something like a new shirt can feel painful, and a whistling kettle five meters away can sound like standing next to a jet engine. Instead, bring him or her to a quiet room, in decent and comfortable lighting, and allow him or her to stim whenever possible to let off the information overload.

 

3. Speak clearly, simply and literally.

People with autism feel unfamiliar with metaphors, puns and sarcasm, and prefer a more literal description. So avoid phrases such as “piece of cake” or “walking dictionary”. Also, people with autism have difficulty understanding instructions if they are given too long a sentence; instead, use short and simple vocabulary. Remember, if they appear as if they are not listening to you, it isn’t that they are stubborn, but that they may not understand what you were saying before.

 

4. Help him or her with social interactions.

People with autism may look like they are self-absorbed or unwilling to socialize with others, but it could also be that they feel unprepared to start a conversation or meeting new and unfamiliar faces. Help them respond to situations that demand empathy and understanding from another person’s point of view.

 

5. Be patient and work to view his or her autism as a different ability rather than as a disability.

Underneath the difficulties and challenges they face in communicating with people or interacting with a busy and often noisy world, may lie someone who is incredibly gifted, hardworking and intelligent. Sometimes, it’s all to easy to judge them by their cover. Stop thinking about “if only he didn’t have autism”, and start appreciating the person for who they truly are. Don’t set expectations low just because he or she is autistic; set them high like you would anybody else, and give them the patience and time to reach these expectations.